The last unknown

Japan will be my last leap into the unknown. Weather or not I make it to Kamchatka, I have experienced the russian culture before either directly or indirectly while going through the old soviet republics.
But Japan is one cultural shock that I don't want to have. I knew I would enter the unknown in China but I was interested in the culture, in the language, I wanted to see the country. Same for Korea, I was ready to face any cultural differences because my curiosity was burning for the country. But Japan? I can't say I have ever been curious about Japan. I have always looked at it as an over-civilised country with people so shy and naive that it overlapped with stupidity, crazily strict laws, no nature, ugly manga comics and weird pornography.
No, I never wanted to discover Japan, it was just on the way, I just wanted to be done with it. So I have never put too much thought about what to do when I get there because the perspective wasn't one that I cherished the most.
Plus, for some reason, Janela had a really bad feeling about Japan, that didn't add to my good expectations.

I am leaving lee shouse

But now I am almost there. I am making my way towards the toll gate, it is 9 in the morning, hoping that some good soul is going to pick me up. I have to check in at the airport less than 6 hours from Busan which is 2 hours away.
I get to the tollgate at 10 which leaves me 3 hours maximum to wait. Daegu-Busan, that's a classic route, I am really not worried about getting a ride. I should be. Nobody stops. After one hour, I start feeling desperate. After two hours I consider taking a bus cursing myself that I have been so stupid. I got the luck of getting a free airplane and I am going to miss it? When you get an airplane for free, you should get to the airport two days before and sleep there until you fly away, that's how much you should secure your flight back!
But no, I tried to have everything at once, I decided to spend one more day in Daegu to edit my video on Lee's computer and now I am stuck in Daegu with my time running out.
In two hours, still no car and I am really worried now. I don't even know weather or not I would have the time to go to a bus station or if it's too late for that as well.
At last, a truck stops. He is going all the way to Busan and drops me not far from the airport. I am saved, I really am. I thank him from the bottom of my heart and I continue to the airport. It is a relief, I almost don't have to do anything fancy there. I don't have to shake heaven and earth to get a ticket, I don't have to go through depressing refusals or weird stares. I just have to hand in my passport like everybody else and everything is taken care of... as if I were a regular passenger.
I say almost because there is a glitch: I did get the free flight but only for myself, not for my luggage. I only have hand luggage allowed and my bag doesn't really fit the qota. It's about twice as heavy as the maximum allowed weight for hand luggage and twice as big too. That's not all, it cointains items that I just can't bring into the plane cabin like a knife or my tent with aluminum sticks.

The second problem was earlier solved by Yongjin who accepted to take the sensitive things to Japan. By coincidence, Yongjin is also going to Japan and only 3 days before I do. He can leave my things in Tokyo at a friend of his and I'll take them when I can. Until I get to Tokyo however, I'll have a rougher time. My tent really gives me the options to sleep anywhere.

But even with Yongjin's help, my bag is still too huge. My winter things are voluminous and heavy and I want to take them all. So I go to the toilet with my bag, and wear all the clothes I can. I really manage to reduce my luggage size twofold and I look like an obese homer simpson.
I am wearing three pairs of pants including the warm ski pants Janela has bought me, 2 t-shirts and 2 jackets, one of which is Tumur's police uniform. My bag passes the volume and weight test and I make it through the scanners. I am sweating like mad in my winter clothing, only wishing to take everything off.
After having passed the checks that is exactly what I do. I reassamble my bag into its original size and I get into the plane. The hostesses look at me with great surprise, not understanding how the hell did their airline let me bring that huge thing onboard but they are Japanese and way to polite to ask me such an incovenient question.

In the plane, with all my luggage

After an hour of flight I set foot in Osaka. I don't want to get out, I spend the night at the airport. I tried to sleep just outside, hidden by an artificial hill but it started raining and I didn't have a tent to protect me. At the airport, I didn't have the best sleep but I managed to get some rest. The next morning, I talked with an australian lady who was waiting for her next flight. She was cool, listened to my story and wanted to give me money for support. I did try to refuse it but ended up taking half of it, 1000 yen which is about 10 dollars. It's a lot but in Japan, it'll be spent really fast.
First thing I do is to up my spirits by going to McDonalds. I don't care about being french and respectful about food. I always liked McDonalds and I don't care if they put radioactive bolds in their food, it takes alright to me. I can go to McDonalds and still be on zero-budget, that's cool. It's not money most effectivly spent but it's an investment into my psychology.

After that, I go out, at last. It is raining outside but I found an umbrella in the trash. It's a perfectly good umbrealla but people have throwed it away just before going through the airport scans because it's an item which is not allowed on the plane. There were about 10 umbrellas in that trash, actually, there were nothing but umbrellas.

Hitchhiking in the rain on the entrance of the highway is not the most effective way to get rides in Japan. Nobody stopped but I spotted a guy staring at me which such a surprised look that he really ressembled to the manga characters which giant eyes and exagerated emotions. This guy looked at me as if he had seen a ghost. His eyes were wide open and turned to the side, he completly forgot about the road.
I would have wished to start hitchhiking in an easier place but I had no choice because of how the airport is situated. Osaka airport is actually on an island. It is an artificial island 2 or 3 kilometers into the sea, only liked to the mainland by a highway and a train.
So here I am hitchhiking in the rain near the highway, hoping for some more unconventional japanese to stop. I was just about to give up and cover the 3 kilometers on the highway on foot when someone called the police on me. They yelled at me "stop" like in American movies when the bank robber is escaping with all the cash.
I didn't really know what to expect from the Japanese police. I knew the chinese cops quite well, nothing to be afraid of, if they were a level nicer, they could play in disney stories. Korean police was a bit tougher but nothing to be alarmed and what about the japs? Rumour has it that the Japanese are the most shy people in the world. Following that logic, the police should give me candy. Wait, that already happened, in China. So they should... I don't know, dress up as disney characters and dance on this nanyang cat song that went viral on youtube.
However, there is one more thing to consider when it comes to police. In a country with zero criminality, police ends up having too much time on their hands and they desperatly seek action the same way a child is imagining an adventure with his spiderman figurine. Except police are grown men and have real guns.
They searched me as if I was arrested for smuggling drungs. Pockets, bags, everything. Everytime I did a faster gesture the policeman was on his guard to grab his weapon, or any means of neutralizing me. It was hilarious. I was obviously just hitchhiking and this guy was really playing an american movie, actor, playwright and director altogether. I let him do this thing for as long as he found it amusing. For the whole time he looked incredibly serious and I barely controlled myself not to burst into laughter.
"In Japan hitchhiking forbidden! Understand? Understand?" he was yelling the last two words, trying to look scary. Unfortunately, he looked absolutly hilarious. But you just can't laugh in these situations. I tried to act as if I was impressed by his performance but I think I just managed not to laugh. Maybe, if this was before my trip began, his yelling could have an effect on me but today I just see a cowboy with low self esteem, low education and hungry for recognition.
"Yes, I understand."
I tried to communicate before but he obviously just wanted to hear this.
"I understand officer." That seemed to calm the cowboy down enough that I could talk some sense (or nonsense) into him.
"I understand that hitchhiking is forbidden but how can I get to the other side."
"Go by train!"
"I have no money for the train"
"You have no money? Go back to your country! Go back to Korea!" He said this with some kind of contempt, I guess he didn't like Korea very much.
"Can't you get me to the other side!"
The policeman opened his mouth in surprise at such request. I was supposed to be too scared of him to ask him for anything, he couldn't believe I would dare negociate with such authority.
"No No No! Not possible! Understand? Understand?"
"Yes of course officer I understand" (wait till he calms down), "So how can I get to the other side?"
I made my speech to him that I have a dream, that I can't break it. His face twisted each time I said dream, he seemed to have that word blacklisted. Dreams are for parasites who don't work, honest people work all day long and don't have time for them.
Eventually, he tired down, they all do and accepted to get me to the other side with his car. He was still watching my every movement as if I were to produce a gun every minute.
After a while of driving, he asks me:
"Are you comultary?"
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
"I don't know what is that."
"You don't know?" His voice is defiant. Maybe he means commentary, or documentary, japanese english has a pretty awful reputation.
"Documentary about my trip? The media?"
"No! Comultary! Russia, North Korea, China! Comultary!"
"You mean communist?"
"Comultary!"
He does mean communist but he is too much self-important to admit that he makes mistakes in english.
"No I am not comultary. We don't like comultary in Czech Republic."
"We are searching for comultary. All comultary go away from Japan. Comultary no freedom. Japan freedom."
That makes sense. Everybody is free but some citizens are more free than others? That sounds a lot like "Animal Farm", that sounds like "comultary talk" to me. I guess the KGB would like your spirit, officer, but they wouldn't hire you because you're still too much of a pussy to scare anyone.
Enough of this police episode, I am now on the mainland, on the border of Osaka but still about 16 kilometers to go until I get to a hitchable place. I won't get there before dark, so I better find a place to sleep. It is raining outside, I'd better find a roof. I try a hotel but they are really sorry, they cannot help me. China all over again but with more sorries.
Near the hotel there is a building with a lot of studio appartments. The front door is locked with a magnetic card. A guy is having a pizza delivered, he opens the door to the delivery guy and I sneak in. Inside, there is a front desk with nobody there. On the right, a common room and a bit further is a gym. There is a single camera pointed on the fitness machines. I carefully make my bed just under the security camera in what might be a dead angle. I can't be sure though, it depends on the lens and these types of cameras usually have very wide lenses.
I hope nobody sees me and I go to sleep. I even get some weak internet so I chat with Orianne and Janela from under the security camera.
I am woken up at about 5:30 AM by two old ladies, probably thoses whose job is to make sure nobody is sleeping under cameras in gyms.
They were really embarassed and surprised that somebody came to sleep in that place. They were also really sorry to wake me up but made me understand that they can't have me here. I am the proof that they didn't do their job right and that would be even more embarassing that waking me up.
As a means of apology, they brought me coffee and some sweet bread for breakfast. That's a really nice gesture and I guess I can call it a alright-slept night, I did get at least 6 hours of rest.
I tried to reassure the two old ladies that everything is alright, that I don't think any less of them and that they don't have to be sorry, in fact it is me who is tresspassing.
I have mixed feelings about all this, still don't know what to think about Japan. What is kindness and what is a means of reduce guilt? Since yesterday, I didn't manage to hitchhike a single car. And things are really expensive here, how will I get food? I still have 300 yen that I can spend freely without counting them into my budget. But what happens after that?

Experiments in Korea

8 hours. That's the average hitchhiking time in Korea... to get a free plane or a ship.
4, that's a number of nights that I have spent in a tent, that's an average of 2 nights per months.
I can't count the number of times I have been ofered food by people or restaurants. Lost count of english speakers.

Korea is easy, Korea is so easy that it gets boring. People are so kind and law enforcement is so harmless that I end up breaking the law just for sport.
Such nationwide exagerated support of my little self raises the question: how far can Korean hospitality and kindness go? I'll try to put some institutions to the test.
But before that, let's rewind to where we last left. I just hitchhiked the ferry from Jeju-si to Mokpo and I am about to make my way to Seoul. My radio interview is waiting for me, scheduled for next week.

First, I get to Daegu where I try to find my ASUS charger. Nobody has heared of ASUS in Daegu despite me visiting the biggest electronic center there. Some guy takes me to his atelier where we try to repair my data cable but it still doesn't work. Some people are telling me that I can't find an ASUS charger in all of Korea. This sounds unbeliavable but I am ready to believe it.

From there I head to Seoul. It takes longer than usual, I am lost in a myriad of little streets about a hundered kilometers before the capital. I am not short on food which I could be because I am relying merely on invitations now. In fact recently, I have gotten way over-budget and if I am to respect my 2 euros/day average then I must stop spending money right now. From now on, I decide not to spend anything, zero-budget. It's not the first time I am doing that, I did it once in China where I put all my money into telephone to call Janela so I relied on people inviting me to restaurants. While in china it was pretty random (it still worked though), in Korea, there is a method for this. There are service areas everywhere on highways and each service area has pretty much every facility needed. There are fast food shops, gift shops, restaurants, toilets, coffee machines. If a car drives by a service area between noon and 2PM, it is a sure thing the driver will stop and buy himself and you lunch. Same goes for dinner and breakfast.
Today I got breakfast in Mokpo, lunch from Mr. Han's provisions and dinner from my late night driver. He didn't speak a word of english so the conversation was pretty much non-existant but he insisted on finding me a place to stay. He drove me to his office where I could check the internet a bit because there was a computer. Next day he got ma a bag full of donuts and put me on my way. I couldn't dream a better breakfast than a bag full of doughnuts.

The office where I sleep is full of wigs

Some bus driver gave me 3000 won (about 3 dollats) to take a bus out of this maze of roads because he didn't believe I would hitchhike out of it. I did nevertheless with a group of military. Then I got a ride to Seoul, to the electronics market where I am supposed to find the charger.
And I did find it! With the help of a complete stranger who took it upon himself to ride his bike throughout all the neighbourhood and bringing me a new data cable.
Now my tablet can charge itself and I don't have to twist the data cable in all directions before the charging light turns orange.
I stay at Yongjin's house again. I tried couchsurfing but no one replied. Couchsurfing is too organised anyway, it's not suited for independent travelling.
At yongjin's, I had all the rest and care that I could dream of. My own room, great food. I also went to my first wedding ever. I never thought that the first wedding I'll ever see would be a korean one. Everything was very neat and clean, there even was a lady who adjusted the bride's dress everytime it folded in an unwanted direction.
Janela got her visa refused the day before I was supposed to give an interview with TBS, a korean radio. I worked hard so as not to be affected by this but the fact that the french consulate considers my girlfriend to be a prostitute based on her ethnicity is quite a drag. It's discrimination plain and simple but consulates live way above the law for the simple reason that no law applies to them: they can officially do whatever they want.

Janela was a great support, she showed herself less shaken than myself and the interview went as well as it could.
I arrived in front of the building. I thought that it was a small radio station but this was a huge building with national television, radio stations, you name it.

TBS building where I will be giving my interview

The studio was divided in two parts. In the first part, I was welcomed by Jamie, the girl who has been communicating with me by email some time. She and her friends walked be trough the questions that Ahn will ask me. They asked me the questions in a casual conversation, I could barely tell they were having me rehearse. Very tactful professionalism.
A week before the interview, I had recieved an email from jamie with all the questions that will be asked. Not so much is left to chance, it's Korea, isn't it? However, when I read the questions I sensed real commitment. These people actually read my blog, they were informed about my trip, they asked almost all the interesting questions. If I were to interview myself, I would not have prepared a better interview.

Me and Jamie at the radio station

They asked about Nata, about the key countries, about the philosophy, the before, the after. The interviewer was carefully watching the time, guiding my answer through the clock (we had 20 minutes for 20 questions) but she managed this without being intrusive. I was stressed but it was a great experience.
Everything is going so well in Korea, really. I still have a week before I have to be in Busan but no stress, it's Korea, I'll get there in time. First, I want to visit Seorok mountain and the east coast. That's when I started to experiment. I arrived to the Kensington hotel, just below the mountain. A giant construction with a stunning view.
I'ts 3PM, too late to start the ascention and the weather sucks too. It might rain tonight. I don't have a tent anymore so that's a slightly bigger problem than before. However, there are lots of abandonned cabins or shelters in the area so my night is not really in danger. It's more about my curiosity.
In the interview I say that I don't ask for accomodation. That is only partially true. I sometimes do ask for it but always institutions that make a business of it, never individuals. I ask a hotel to give me a place to stay for free the same way I ask an airline for a free plane ticket.
I describe my situation to the reception lady. She has perfect english. She goes to find her boss and after a while, they find me a place to sleep in a double-decker bus in front of the hotel. It serves as an exposition item brought back from London. It's really confortable on one of the front seats and I spend my evening watching TV series while eating some food Yongjin has given me for the road.

My magic bus

When you start watching TV series on a hitchhiking trip, it means that the country you are in is too boring and you have to seek adventure elsewhere as many people do in the civilised world.
The next day, I sneak into the national park. There is an entrance fee so I have to go around over the hill. It's not an easy climb, especially in the dark at 6AM.

At 6AM there is nobody in front of this very touristic Buddha statue, just under Soroksan

The path to Sorok montain is closed but I ignore the warning and climb anyway. I soon fall in deep snow until the waist. My shoes are soaking wet and I have to climb through stones and stone walls until I get to the a ridge. There the trail continues but the snow is too deep, giving up the ascention is the wise thing to do. I spend a while looking for a way down, cursing myself for not having giving up earlier. It is a small mountain but it feels like a huge one. Size really doesn't matter, mountain-wise.

Here I got kind of stuck

View from a cave monastary in the mountains

Three times I try to go down and thee times I go back: the way is too hard. At last I find a path suitable for descent and I make it back to my magic bus. From there, I hitch to the east coast, to a place called Ganeug. It used to be an old olympic village which rhymes with abandonned places. I spend a good part of the days sneaking into various places in hotels, abandonned or not.
I am a bit hungry these few days. I don't hitchhike a lot which means nobody offers me food and since I am on zero-budget now, it just means I don't eat.
My last meal was the driver who drove me to the toll station and invited me to dinner there. He then bought me a big bow of chololate cookies which are my rations until someone gives me something else.
Finding places to sleep is a bit more difficult too since I don't have a tent anymore. I have noticed a cool watchtower right on the beach. It protects me from the heavy winds so I can spend the night there. I have checked it beforehand, it was empty and it even had a room with a door and electricity still running.
I download the Hobbit - desolation of smaug to watch before I go to sleep and I slowly make my way to the tower.
"Hey!" I hear from up there. A soldier is pointing his gun at me but in a very polite way, it is clear that he is very sorry to do this and soon, he is helping me find my way back apologizing that I can't sleep in his watchtower because it belongs to the Korean military.
Even Korean military are really kind.

The watchtower I tried to sleep in

During my whole stay in Korea I never got the chance to stay in Churches. When I was in China, I thought Korean churches would be my main means of accomodation but I never got to try them, everytime a better solution came up. Either people or double decker buses or offices, whatever else.
With my military watchtower out of the picture, I decided to test god's sheltear. If Koreans are so kind, so hospitable, if even hotels whose business is to take your money for housing let you stay for free, a church will probably cover you in love, food and blankets.
Actually, not really.
"I can't help you," says the lady in the Church, "my boss is not here, I can't make that decision."
I naivly thought that her boss is God and god approves hospitality or so the Bible says but appearently, in Korea churches are a business and God is just a guest in his own home. I did get a yoghourt though.
Just to be fair for comparison I went to a hotel a few meters from that church, asked for a free place to stay and got a free room with a double bed, kitchen and shower. I guess God had gone into exile since churches are not a safe haven for him any more, he is just everywhere else.

The next day I make it to Daegu and meet with Tumur again. He lives in an apparment with 3 people per room. Not much privacy and comfort but he's here for the work and money so I guess that will do. I stay with a friend of his who lives in his parents house. He is also from Alcoholics Anonymous and his story is similar to his Mongolian friends. I guess alcohol screws everyone in the same way, no matter which culture you are from.

Lee is very kind to me, he lends me his computer to make a promotional video for my trip. I wanted to make this video for a long time but I never had the chance to do it because it requires a real computer, my tablet is just not powerful enough, I barely could make Janela's video and it took ages.
I won't reveal why I made this video... yet but you should know that it serves a higher purpose, it's more than just a video about my journey, it has a goal. I don't know if this goal will succeed or fail, everything depends on my uninformed image of the upcoming japanese culture.

On March 25th, I leave Lee's house in the direction of the toll station. Today, if everything goes well, I will be flying to Japan.

Hitchhiking with a safety net

First I need to make a hitchhiking sign. It has to be big, it must be appealing, it must impress. I need to hitchhike a plane, I was lucky a first (Jeju) and second (Japan) time, I might not get the third.
That's the rational me speaking. The adventurous me says: fuck that, let's hitchhike private jets and helicopters!
One day I was drunk with Jamie and Leah. I ended up coming back with a korean flag and a giant paper box. The paper box is big enough for me to standin it.
With big black characters I write: Please support my dream, buy me a ticket because that's what will most likely happen.

My hitchhiking sign, drawing courtesy of Lindsey

When I think about it, it is never the companies who have helped me, they always got stuck in some kind of administrative nonsense. They have always followed the rules with surgical precision. And the rules say: don't give free tickets to people.

It is always the people who have made the exception, smaller and less wealthy than the company but more humane. As a principle I always try the companies first however before moving to the individuals. Then I check, if only superficially if the person has the means to help me. Because unfortunately it is people with the smallest wallets who have the biggest hearts.

I have a problem however; my tabler is almost out of battery and the charger is dead for good. It has had a slow agony which started in Naryn, in Kyrgyzstan and I fear that no electricity flowing through it no matter what I do. For the last weeks I have dismanteled the cable and reconnected it at various places. It did work for some time.


You would think that it's fairly easy to buy a data cable for an Asus tablet. Then you have never been to Korea. There is no such thing on whole Jeju island, I checked whatever I could. People stared at my transformer tablet as it was a piece of whichcraft.
"Noooo!", they signaled me to go away as if my tablet had the power to contaminate their samsung phone. Unless you have either Samsung, LG or i-Crap, you are basically dead in the water.
I can understand for Samsung and LG but why do they have so many iPhone chargers? It's their main competition.

With less than 15% of my primary battery left and the secondary one depleted, I don't use the map very often. So I don't find the helicopters, I go to the private jets. However first, I say hello to my adoptive family.

I hitchhike there, one of my memorable rides in Seojin, korean girl alone in a car which looked more soviet than korean. She spoke great english, she was interesting and joyful and drove me way out of her way.

Seojin

I didn't want to fold my giant sign so it acted as a sail in the heavy wind which was blowing me away.

I arrived at the restaurant of my adoptive family where I was greeted with warmth and kindness. 

They were all overly moved to see me, no idea why so much emotion. I had a great lunch and I was off to go.

"To go where?"

"Hitchhiking private jets."

"Private jets?" my adoptive jeju mother gave me a concerned look. "There will be no such things."
"But how am I supposed to get out of this island?"
"You take that money. No hitchhiking!"
"I don't want money!"
She started to get really angry at me: Take! It is not a good practice to argue with the elderly in Korea.
Anyway, I can do whatever I want, if I want to hitchhike, I'll hitchhike. But my adoptive family walks me to a bus stop.
"There will be no more hitchhiking."

They put me on a bus which goes to Jeju-si. At my destination waits Mr. Han, a Vietnam war veteran and my adoptive mother's husband. He is supposed to take me home and make sure that I behave in a proper manner and don't take any reckless risks.
However I miss my stop and meet a nice girl who is about to perform a show of traditional korean dance and drums in the arts center of Jeju city.
I get an invitation for the spectacle, free of charge, because you are special, so she says. She seems to be the lead of the show so nobody contradicts her, not even the organiser who throws me a weird look.

I meet Mr. Han an hour later than planned and he takes me home. He lives in an appartment on the fourth floor just a few steps from the beach. I can almost feel the sea from his window. I get the guest room with my own bathroom.

The beach is just out of the window

I take Mr. Han to the show; he is delighted and slightly taken aback that it is a foreigner who takes him to a traditional korean event.

"I wish you were my son," he says in a bitter tone which makes me feel kind of weird. Plus, I don't think he could possibly stand me as a child.

He seemed to be a bit dissapointed by his children.

My newfound friend performing

The show is quite strange and kind of fun. We end up dancing all together a strange type of farandole. Mr Han and me agree on a compromise. He will buy me a ticket, however I have one hour to hitchhike a boat.

"I don't believe you can do it," says Mr. Han, "but if you succeed then I stop eating for a week."

I stress to Mr. Han that he should be careful with these type of remarks because there is quite a big chance of success. But nothing seems to shake Mr. Han's conviction.

"You can try but I think maybe it's impossible"

The next day I hitchhike to Hallim Park to which I enter climbing over the fence only to discover that the entry is actually free. However I return home too late to catch the ship to Busan.

In korea, places where it is good to take a picture are labeled as such.
Here, however, the uniformity is at its paroxism: not only the picture spot is suggested but also the position of the people. Individuality died here.

The next day, Mr. Han gives me half of his food for the week just in case I died on hunger on the ferry and drive me to the ferry terminal.

There is nobody there because we are at the wrong terminal but we didn't know it. Seeing no one to show the sign to, even the counters were empty, I go to the company's office.

I explain my situation to the people there and when I attempt to prove my story by showing them the map on my dirty cardboard which has now been through half of Jeju, the lady just says:

"Passport please"

 And they print me a free ticket. Simple. No bullshit about having to contact a supervisor who must, in turn contact his superviser and so on all the way until they reach god.
I guess some companies are more flexible than others, I guess I was wrong humanity is everywhere, even in companies sometimes.
The company even drives me to the correct passenger terminal and Mr. Han follows in his car.
Mr. Han can't believe it, he finds it cool that I hitched the boat and gives me goodbye dinner.

The ride is quite pleasent though windy. Jeju island slowly dissapears in the white mist, courtesy of Shanghai pollution.
About halfway we pass a series of small island which looks like mountains in the water, in the middle of nowhere. Really nice.

The ferry takes about four hours and docks at the harbour of Mokpo.

There, Mr Han dispathed his cousin to wait for me and take me home since it is already quite late.

The craigslist ad

Once upon a time there was a craigslist ad. It didn't feel to be the usual craigslist ad, in fact it didn't fit any category. It wasn't a dating ad nor was it a job proposition or offer.
So it decided to live in the community section because it kind of liked things involving people. He felt colorful, with lots text of pictures.
But it was a bold and pretientious ad. It was only born today, in a korean appartment inhabited by a british-european couple and it already had dreams and expectations beyond the borders of it's home country.

The craigslist ad, hopeful and naive

Born into a family with a single dad, it had every chance to be a little weird, a little fucked up even, to be fair. The most likely mother would be a Czech girl from the moravian city of Brno. She ran away to europe with her british-armenian boyfriend before the poor ad even got to know her.

It's father wasn't of a much better breed.
As soon as it was born, the very next day to be precise, dad forgot about his only ad and left hiking along the coast of the island, following the olle trail. Effing irresponsible asshole.

Born into a dysfunctional family, abandonned since early childhood in an envirenment unfit to its kind with dreams beyond realisation, the ad was meant to die of solitude.
For days and days, nobody took interest in it no matter how much he tried to stand out. The ad felt sad and lonely.
Until one day, a message came:

The ad was so happy to matter to someone!

B., a university teacher took looked at it. He trusted it, he didn't think it was a scam or some kind of unfunny joke. A very kind person indeed, thought the ad.
The ad felt alive again against all odds, it felt like it had a purpose, a sense in this world. It was cool and useful and his father, travelling at the time looked at him again. He was sleeping in a tent which happened to have internet and looked at what his ad had brought him with astonishment.
"Damn, this ad wasn't as useless as I thought," he said to himself.


Unfortunately the ad quickly understood that his asshole dad doesn't care about it, as soon as the excitement passes, his attention shifts to this B. guy who is helping him to get a plane to Japan. He finds out his real email address, they exchange phone numbers.
On March 1, in the evening, Dad recieves his plane ticket from B.! He is happy living one of those unrealistic moments. But the ad is sad. His father was a careless git but at least he was nearby.
On March 25th, Dad will fly away to Japan forgetting about his Seoul-based ad who has served its purpose.
One day, when it is old enough, the ad will just be automatically erased by the craigslist deamon from hell.
But for a moment there, it had a bright life.

Moral of the story: life is wonderful but it sucks to be an ad.

Walking the coast and islands

There are many islands around the big island of Jeju. The coast is full of variations. There is nature, civilisation, oranges and desalination plants. That is what I want to explore after mount Halla. However, the mountain hike and camping has left me in a a rather pitiful state. My things are wet, I am tired, cold and hungry. I meet Jamie and Leah, my couchsurfing hosts. They are both cool people, outgoing with character and full of life. There used to be times, a lifetime ago, when I used to be overly impressed by such people but now I prefer their company to others.

Cool is the adjective most describing both Jamie and Leah but they've done their share of amazing stuff. They have built a raft and sailed for 300 kilometers from Slovakia to Budapest where they got arrested by some killjoy cop. That is one crazy thing that I haven't thought about. And great!
Leah is the personification of my vision of fantasised american student life. Play hard with style but not excessive princessy bullshit. I often criticise western societies for their fake openness and actual conservatism but I feel more and more than America is slightly more allright in that aspect.

I stay a few days with the couple, we  is meet a few people. Korea is the first country where I actually meet foreigners because it is the first country where I actually use couch-surfing. It doesn't do me that much good, now I have a distorted image of Korea. From my personal point of view I have a very positive image of the country. Koreans are kind and hospitable. They are curious and humble. They are a bit naive and easy to impress too. From the foreigners here I hear about the conservative society, the alcohol abuse, the reckless driving. If the opinion was left to myself I would think that Korean are drinking pussies that even I can keep up with and their driving is quite alright. It confuses me not to know what to think.

Jamie and Leah

We live in an apartment just inside the Seogwipo market. Everyone is selling oranges and fish. Next door lives Lindsey, a reserved bubbly blond girl with an awkward way to communicate. Everybody likes her and I like her too.

Waterfall in Seogwipo

Jamie tells me how people were making videos about them because he posted the rushes on craigslist. So I have an idea: before going on my walk following the island coast, I'll set up an ad saying: please buy me a plane ticket.

Walking along the island coast was rainy at first and then it got boring. My things got wet quite fast, my sleeping bag is borderline useless; thank god spring is coming.

Landscape on the south side

But how interesting can walking be? You just put a foot in front of the other, what should I expect? Nature has its load of repetitions. Trees, rocks, sea. It's nature, not an american film.

The Olle trail is marked very thoroughly with strips of red and blue fabric every 500 meters; yet I do manage to get lost. First night I sleep near the sea on some polystyrene patch for isolation merely 5 kilometers from Jamie and Leah. Not ugly, not beautiful either. My next night is right on the hiking trail. Too lazy to find a better place and it is flat there. I sleep until 11AM and am woken up by endless columns of tourists. This is the laziest hike ever. I go to sleep late after watching movies in the evening in my tent. When I wake up I eat m&ms and when I finally fold up my tent it's usually noon. After walking a little bit it's dark again and I put up my tent. Long gone are the dangerous days when I was walking 50 kilometers per day to escape the wolves in Kyrgyzstan.

Tourists going on a very short and organised kanoe ride

After a while I start needing a shower so I badly that I actually put my mind to finding a solution. Not far from my camp is a luxury resort. So big and luxurious that you can it even had a plastic surgery clinic on site.

I went inside and opened some doors until I found a sauna which was being heated for this evening. A Korean sauna is not just a sauna, it also has a hot water pool and showers. I kept the lights out and spent a whole two hours there without nobody disturbing me. When I wondered through the hallways, nobody even questioned my presence there, the deeper inside the resort I was the more I was assumed to be part of the unquestionable jet-set.

I have a Korean sauna all for myself!

Back on the road I continue east towards U-do, an island east of Jeju that looks like a cow. I meet some a family from the netherlands. There is the son, the mother and his korean girlfriend. They are really nice, we talk a lot.

Firshermen 

We meet again and they invite me to a restaurant. I think the reason why I get invited everywhere so often is that I just randomly engage with everyone I meet. We go to the restaurant just next to my tent.

Nether-korean family

See you in spring or summer or fall or winter or NEVER

Fishermen in sunset

The next day I walk a more decent distance and finish my day in front of some kind of huge wooden house. My battery is dead so I ask to recharge.

Turns out it's a restaurant and one of the younger people there speaks english. They've just opened together with the whole family. Two older women, professional cooks for over 30 years decided to test their food on me so I get dinner and a place to sleep on the second floor. I haven't tasted such wonderful food for a long time and I do eat tasty food on this trip.

There are different kinds of fish, gimchi, omelets, soups and god knows what else. Professional cooks, that really makes a difference.

This is going to be a badass restaurant, if you're interested in the location, it's here:

I put my tent on the second floor and it looks like this:

My tent on the second floor

The family takes care of me like of their own, making sure I have enough food for the road to Udo and making me promise to be careful and return to them. They will later be the key of me getting out of Jeju.

My path continues slowly towards U-do until I meet this girl who is a server administrator. She is on a speed-walking trip which means she basically walks as fast as possible even if it means not caring about the landscape. With her I walk a longer distance than all my previous days combined. On the way we eat lots of oranges, grapes and mandarines.

She leaves me at Seongsan, the volcano coming in the sea with a chocolate bar after paying for my bus for the last few kilometers.

Seongsan in front, far away

Seongsan has a paid entrance which so I sneak in there at night. There are cameras and sensors everywhere which makes me a little paranoid. Arguing with the authorities on mount Halla is one thing but today I plan to pitch my tent in the middle of a Unesco protected site, that might be a hard pill to swallow even for Koreans. I wonder if I am not being a little over the limit here. It is forbidden to even go into the crater much less to camp there. However I don't have any better ideas of where to sleep, too much civilisation everywhere else.

The crater however is wide and wild. Regulations are respected and nobody has gone there for years.

My tent in early morning

My initial plan was to get up at six before the guards man their posts. However I underestimated the stubbornness and tirelessness of Koreans. Before I had time to get out of my tent, hords of Koreans were nicely aligned behind the tourist ramp waiting for the sunrise. I did see that the place had a good reputation for sunrises but I wasn't expecting such commitment. I should have learned from my experience of Hallasan's summit: if a place was labeled beautiful touristic place then there will be people. If the label is taken away nobody will go there.

So I fold up my tent under the careless eyes of early morning Koreans. No one has literally noticed me despite the fact that I am folding my tent in the middle of a Unesco site. But why would they? The sign says look at the sunset not look at Filip. Therefore nobody sees me. Had the sign said look at Filip the sun would be nothing more than a faded star.  

The next day I hitchhike the ferry to U-do, ticket paid by two film makers. People spend the way feeding seagulls.

People feeding seagulls on the ferry

U-do is a small island but I like it very much. I climb the highest hill, the U-do-ish Hallasan. From there, I have a nice view on Seongsan and the sunset.

Seongsan from U-do

Sunset on U-do

In the evening I plan to sleep in some cool caves on the beach but before I go to recharge my tablet again.

The guy in charge of the restaurant gives me dinner and his friend says that I am stupid, that I'll drown in the tide and invites me to his hotel.

There are four overexcited girls in one of the room, they are about 10 or 12 and he tells me: "play with them" and shuts the door behind me.

I start looking for possible exits, what the hell am I supposed to do with four korean girls becoming hysterical in front of the TV broadcasting a korean drama and K-pop.

But turns out they were pretty cool, they gave me chocolate cookies, showed me how to turn cartwheels and I gave them dancing lessons which they took part in with great enthusiasm.

The weirdest of the four girls was Sophie. She was the youngest one and something incredibly creative was wiggling in her mind. I was really touched by her, she seemed to be a truly free soul, a rare thing among Korean children. Let's see how long she lasts.

One of them was half-korean half from Chile. And as the stereotypes say, she could dance, she had it in her blood. For the first time in Korea I had a truly amazing dance... with a 12-year old child!

Breakfast with the girls, the one in red is Sophie

The next morning I went exploring the caves. Quite big and really nice.

Big cave going into the sea

Good-luck stones in the cave

Another cave entrance

I didn't have time to hitchhike the ferry back to Jeju so I just blackrode it. I told the security guy that I forgot my ticket and he let me in. How could I possibly lie, right?

On my way back, I stop by the restaurant. Everybody is really glad to see me, I get dinner again and a place to sleep.

Another high class dinner

It is that night, in that place that I receive a reply for my ad: someone wants to buy me a ticket. This is unexpected, I have a hard time believing it.

After that, I safely hitchhike back to Jamie and Leah.

Climbing the Halla mountain

I can camp on Jeju island! And it's not cold, that's some great discovery. I like it so much that I just pitch my tent in the first foresty place that I find. It should be noted that forests and real wild nature is not that easy to find in Korea. It is slightly easier on Jeju island but still, not as obvious as walking in a random direction for a long time.
I came to think that South Korea is quite similar to Turkmenistan in terms of describing the country's landscape.
"Come and take a look at our grand buildings!," the Turkmen people were saying with pride. But besides a few buildings the country is a great landscape of wild desert which natural beauty is undoubtable.
"Come and take a look at our nature!," say the Koreans locked in their landscape of urban constructions.
So Turkmenistan is the beacon of modern civilisation and Korea that of nature and wilderness and everybody is just living in their own fairy tale.

Anyhow, I end up finding a nice place on a small hill above the sea in the north of Jeju island and set camp. I also buy a lot of candies and I'm set for the night. I have no mission here, just rest.
The only annoying thing about Jeju island is the weather.

Jeju harbour

statues

It is cloudy and raining from time to time. The beautiful colors are faded a little bit by the grayish mist.

Soon I realize that I can't live like that forever. Some of my clothes are wet, some are dirty, I'd better find some civilized place to get myself into shape. The best candidate is Jamie and Leah's place, these two people were amazing enough to reply to my panicked couchsurfing request just a few hours after I sent it when most people take three days to a week.

Since I've discovered camping is possible and Jamie and Leah are living on the other end of the city, I decide to climb the Halla mountain, highest peak of the island.

The Halla mountain or Hallasan is the highest peak of Jeju island and of Korea overall. It's not really that high, just under 2000 meters but since it's in the center of a small island, you climb it from zero and you have infinite visibility in all directions, you can see the sea.

My plan however is not just to climb Halla mountain but to see the sunrise from it. Therefore I have to camp there. I didn't read all the regulations but my general impression of Korea so far tells me that this is probably not allowed. If you believe the inscriptions and signs you will have the impression of being about to climb mount everest.

I start by ignoring them, interpreting them as casual Korean over-safety but after a while of Hallasan propaganda, I too, start wondering weather I should also take crampons or at least decent walking sticks.

As I make my way a bit higher, snow begins to appear and I am not even in the national park. I didn't expect so much snow so fast. And the snow quickly grows as I follow the road up.

The night falls and the moon shines.

The moon shines

 A car stops to see if I'm allright. That's a nice and caring thing to do. After a good deal of walking I arrive to the base camp. Yeah, there actually is a base camp for a 2000 meter mountain. But since you can start from zero that makes sense. A korean-style base camp has little to envy to a five start holiday resort. Not only is there sleeping accomodation, electricity and wifi but also a small shop, kitchen and drinking fountains. I also see a ticket office. Everything is closed now and I don't want anyone forcing me into that ticket office, whatever it is for.
I pass by the base camp and build my tent a bit further, in the middle of the trail.

The roughest of all trails, warns the sign.

The trail looks as if it were built for my grandmother. Well-maintained path with rope ramps in  case you lose the trail and instructional boards reminding you where you are every 500 meters as an encouragement that: you can do it!

It is a beautiful trail, no doubt about it but your individuality will be crushed by it. You, as every other person climbing that trail will see exactly the same thing, walk texactly the same path in the exact same timeframe (there is only a certain time when the mountain is accessible). Nothing is left to chance. Korean turists push the dehumanisation of hiking one step further by wearing exactly the same clothes. Pictures taken on Hallasan also loo all the same. There are special, carefuly selected spots from which the view is nice, there is a little wooden accomodation that allows you to take a picture.

So you might either hike mount Halla or ask any other person who has hiked it; you'll have the same result. Because your experience will be the same as his or hers with the precision of a milimeter.

The trail is well organised

I go to sleep in my tent in an attempt to test the temperature. I want to see the sunrise on mt. Halla so I have to sleep near the top. If I am to sleep at the top without freezing there then I should be able to withstand the cold at the bottom with half of my warm clothes on. I can expect a -10 temperature drop because of the altitude and another -10 temperature drop because of the nightfall, bringing the temperature to a total of -16 dregrees celsius. While this is a reasonable temperature to sleep in and I have done it in the past, I have to test the wind and humidity which also comes into play. So I am sleeping on this trail, let's see how it goes. The night isn't so bad, I get a little cold during the coldest phase but overall, it is allright. I get woken up by tourists at 6:30 AM. I thought nobody would climb that mountain winter; in fact, after reading all the warnings and seeing the too organised trail I started wondering weather Koreans were really pussies but turns out that they were braving the cold, wind and morning to climb fast and tirelessly, like a column of extremely well-fit, nuclear-powered grandmothers; I could hardly follow. Actually, with my heavy bag, I just couldn't follow and I got outran by everyone.

Walking the snowy trail

On the trail, I was quite a funny sight. Everybody was wearing crampons and carrying light walking sticks and small backpacks and I was there with my more than 20kg bag filled with random stuff (some stuff was even hanging from the sides), a wooden stick and my trekking cramponless shoes.

Needless to say that I recieved encouragements from everyone as well as an endless flow of deliscious candies. As I was approaching the top, a man going down gave me his walking sticks.

A man gave me his walking sticks

The views get really beautiful, shame the weather is so bad. Trees covered in snow dissapear into the clouds and behind them is the endless blue sea.

Almost at the top

Trees covered in snow

The weather is getting worse and worse and I am approaching the top. People are all going down now arguing that it's passed 13:30 and therefore the mountain closes.

You can close a door, a window but in Korea appearently, you can close a mountain. I wonder how would a closed mountain look like. Probably like in the lord of the rings, with a heavy stone door and a riddle written in runes which only the worthy can open.

The top of mount Halla

View of the sea.

So I'm going to get kicked out, no big deal. If the kyrgz didn't throw me into prison, if the chinese didn't force me to pay hotels, I won't get my plans disturbed by a bunch of law-abiding Koreans.

On the top of the mountain there is a shelter. It has electricity and free wifi. Damn you Korea, seriously? The most inaccessible place in Korea has high-speed internet.
A friendly guard comes to me and asks me, in a very polite way, to get down the mountain.
"No. I am going to camp here."
"Whaaaaat?"
"I am going to camp here. I want to see the sunrise"
"Sorry sir but it is impossible."
"Why? Is the sun not rising tomorrow?"
Pitching a tent sounds like a very possible quest for me. In fact, I have done it a number of times and the snowy ground provides a soft mattress to sleep on. I wonder what could make putting up a tent impossible.
"It's against the law."
"I know it is against the law!" I reassure him, "But I am going to do it anyway."
"You can't do it!"
"Why?"
"It's against the law!"
Appearently the concept of being against the law is so strong here that it should put an end to any argument. While being unaware of the law may be a possible outcome, knowing and ignoring the law is something Koreans don't seem to understand.
Usually when dealing with the authorities, I try to play dumb, pretexting that I don't know the law but in this case, it would make an already unclear conversation even more foggy.
So I put in some good will and I try to clarify the cultural difference between us.
"I know that it is against the law. I understand that by pitching up a tent I am breaking the law. However, I stick with my decision of pitching up a tent."

Appearently, this kind of statement doesn't compute.

He calls his superiour with whom I have the exact same conversation. Except she gets a bit more inventive.

"If you do not get down, you will get a fine."
"But I don't have money."
The woman on the phone seems embarassed, I feel sorry to have put her in such position; she seems like a nice and polite lady but as many koreans, she lacks imagination. So I try to help her out.
"You can call the police on me, maybe you can arrest me, put me in prison for example"
That's the kind of threat the corrupt Kyrgyz cop would use. Unfortunately, the poor lady is thrown off balance even more.
"Do you want to get arrested?"
"No I don't but that's the point. It's a better threat than just saying it's the law. That just will get you nowhere."
"Ok, we will arrest you."
"Allright. Come and get me."
This whole conversation is both amusing and extremly ironic. I am just sorry for the guards of the national park who really feel bad and embarassed about the whole thing.
"The police will arrest you"
"Will they shoot me?"
"Of course nobody will shoot you! Don't worry about such things!"
"Ok, I'll build my tent then."
The lady pauses for a bit.
"If you don't go down, he'll lose his job."

Damn she got me. Here I was, thinking that I am so smart, that I can face any threats. In many countries including and especially the western world we have power-hungry security guards who like to place themselves above their victim, to show their strenght and legal and physical superiority. They'll point guns at you, beat you, scare you, it boosts up their ego. But here in Korea, security forces don't have this small penis complex. They are ready to communicate, they can get things done and today, they just got smarter than me.
Maybe it is true that this guy would lose his job, maybe not but I can't take that chance and she knows it.
She has read me, she understands that I like to play american hero and martyr facing forces stronger than me and the real way to win is to put the security forces in the victim position. Today, I am the bully and I hate it.
"Allright, I am considering going down but can we find a compromise?"
"You can go to the Jindellabat shelter and we will accomodate you for a night. This is already exceptionnal treatement."
I get accomodated in the radio communication cabin. It is heated by a small electric heater, I have electricity and a confortable bed. Last but not least, I get deliscious dinner with a room with wifi.

My room on Hallasan!

In the morning, my cabin is lost in deep snow. It's snowing, the tracks are covered in white and the visibility is really bad. I feel that I am not seeing any sunrise today. There is still hope that the peak will be above the clouds or that the weather changes but hopes are slim.

My cabin is covered in snow.

It is dark because it's 5:30 AM, my light is out of batteries but the markings on the paths are so obvious that I can still follow it. Up there, the wind is insane. I just build my tent next to the shelter which is now empty and locked and I hide inside. the wind completly dismantles the tent, the sticks that support the construction freeze, it's just a big mess. I wait in there a couple of hours until I decide that it's not going to get better: I am packing my stuff and going down. I am seriously frozen at that point. It's not too cold but the wind and wet air isn't doing me any good.

Just as I prepare to get down, the rangers from Jindelabat reach the peak and open the shelter. I get in and warm up a little.

Shelter at the top

After a while, I hear voices. I can't believe my ears. Endless columns of korean tourists with their crampons, bags, sticks and shiny ugly clothes are going through the hellstorm with nearly zero visibility, taking a useless picture on the top of the white peak (they could as well photograph a whiteboard)  and going down.

I thought I was the only one crazy enough to get up there in this weather. Not by a long shot. Korean people are capable of way crazier and more extreme things than me. The reason they don't do it is that sometimes it's against the law. And what's against the law, well, that's impossible.

Me and a snowy tree